KLIA trip

The journey to KLIA is always heavy hearted. Ever jouney.

Yesterday, May and me sent Marchy to this gigantic and luxurious aiport. Marchy have to leave us for at least a year to continue her studies there.

We took taxi there. Along the hourney, Marchy tried to sleep but her phone kept ringing while May slept. I myself catch my own sweet time.

The last time I went to KLIA was this april, sending Archie away. The whole journey in the taxi reminded me of him, the best time as well as remembering the separation and the separation that soon ive too face again, sending marchy away this time.

I couldnt help myself but tears kept falling, but not to boast, im good at hiding my tears. The pain still there.

Is always hard to send someone away. I know, there is always internet there to connect us. Thank God for the someone who invented internet. However, the feeling is really different.

U cannot meet up occasionally, or even, feelings might just swap away. Time and distance, changes people and relationship.

Im afraid. Im hurt. Im sad. The journey to KLIA always reminds me the sad things I had with Archie. And now, sending my best friend to for a better life, I couldnt help, but wept.

Is always easier for the one to leave than those that left behind.

Im missing Archie. Im missing Marchy.

I love them.

Still havent recover...

Today, i received an email from a friend. Is a forwarded email. However, although the title was friends, but I guess, all those questions directed to me seemed to be like linking to relationship. It hurts me.

What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone you had to say good-bye?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?

What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else and you could never have them?

Some people live and some people die.

But I want to tell you I love you everyday, though Ive tell you before.

That I will always be here for you when and if you need me...

If I died tomorrow, you would be in my heart forever.

Would I be in yours?

I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.

Just remember, everyone doesnt like to be lonely. Someday, you might feel like you are alone at all, just remember and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will.

I still miss him. :'(

Happy Birthday Archie...

Happy Birthday Archie!

That's what I want to say Archie today. But i guessed, there is no longer chance to do so...

Sitting here, staring at my MSN, he is offline. Even if he is online, I wouldnt dare to say it to him as well. Maybe he is out with someone else that he used to celebrate every year.

I try not to miss him. But seriously, I couldnt do it. He will always in my heart. Always.

I used to say to aanhry that if wanted me to forget totally about him, give me 20 years without contact at all. But i guess, these 3 months was really hard. No matter how much I try to forget, there is still him. No matter how much positive things I said to myself, I just cant forget him.

I really miss him.

Happy Birthday again, Archie. I really hope my wishes for u will become true one day. I will always keep praying for you when I wake up and before I sleep. Have a great birthday without me. All the very best for you.

The clip that will make me cry everytime*

Recently, I felt so helpless with my life. Everyday, Im struggling with life. Is not im busy or the unending datelines, but Im exhausted but i still miss the person that maybe I shouldnt. But what can I do when the heart still say so?

Ok.. Miss is miss. But there are also people that gave me lotsa great memories, that until today, when I think of it and they are not by my side, are my sisters. I guess, you can see who are them from the movie.

Ok.. those pics were take n years ago, with our mushroom heads, thick specs and the cute little pinafore that we used to wear. I miss my uniform *sobsob*

Looking into this clip made by our baby monkey, it really makes miss them more and more. I couldnt imagine my life without them. I only can ask God to take me before them.

We used to go into the same class in kindergarden, wearing those pink boxed uniforms.

We used to have recess together, checking out what's in your lunch box and peep at each other when teacher asked us to take a nap after recess.

We used to dance as clowns during the kindergarden graduation ceremony.

Then, we went to the same primary school.

We used to line up and get susu sekolah. Not mentioning, see who got the most coklat susu! And also the chasing to grab the milk from the person who would be the winner of the day. Just to make "our" chocolate ice cream after school.

We used to swing our ponytails when we were playing tali-tali. Making the hopping rope together. Play every recess. And i guess, there is where we got our height :)

We used paint together, play with the chinese calculator (Sempua? I cant remember what it's call in english).

We used to play run and chop with the guys and not mentioning, hitting the boys when they are cought.

We used to be in the same class, then we are distributed into different class, but that still doesnt make any much difference to us.

We then, after P & E rushed to the toilet to get a clean cubicle to change our clothes.

We used to criticise our basketball players in school.

We used "match" each other with the boys and then, tell everyone in the class, so that everyone would be happy for each other, although some have more than one fan. (Girls... U know who I meant, but about the quality of the boy, I dare not comment)

We used to dunno what is exam, but just get our butts and pencils out during exam seasons.

We have no idea what UPSR was. For us, it was just an ordinary paper with many easy questions to be answered and wondered why teachers are so stupid to set such questions.
Then, together we left primary school into secondary school.

Together we set our enemies - the SS students.

Together we meet new people from different schools, not forgetting new experiences there.

Together we march up the new classroom and look as innocent as we can. Timidly and stupidly memorise all moral values because of that stupid stuart teacher ask so.

Together we make names in the school. Students know who we are. Teachers realise our potential.

We used to quarrel until we have to meet the form teacher and also the counselling teacher. We are really brats!

We used to grumble and kepo about our new friends, teachers and also some classmates-enemies.

We used to join the same club, work for school, and gain some attention from people from the SS school.

We used to went to the annual ball. Dont mention the sucking meetings with other school's representative. We used to scold them behind after the meeting, thinking how can a guy or person older than us can be so immature and unsystematic.

We used to tease others when other receives small gifts from the students right beside our school. Not to mention those "lovely small gifts from our own juniors" >_<

We used to battle together, work and played hard together to achieve the results of almost winning our enemies in academic. Together, we cried in press conference. Together we codemn the girl who actually hired a reporter to get her picture just because she get an extra pathetic A in her SPM.

Together we wonder what's next.

Together, we are aimless. Together, we loiter.

Together, we find part-time job to fill our time.

We used to make a dish and bring to someone's home to have a great feast, and not to mention Lami and Cho Dai D after that. We learn how to make pasta, sushi and sandwiches from each other.

Together we scratch our heads what to get for the next birthday girl.

Together, we watch movie in MTV without our parents really knowing that we went there.

Then, some of us parted, but never in heart.

Then, we are in different places. Somehow, we are still together. How to prove this? Is easy. Just pop the questions: Where to play Lami? Where to sleepover? Where to BBQ? Where to watch this CD? Spontaneously we will answer : OCTOPY! With no objection from octopy.

Together, we went to the Driving licence Law exam together in a Kancil. All 7 of us. And get our licence.

Together we went out with the new drivers, except me not driving. And everytime, together ull all will have to lecture me of not driving. I guess the lectures dont work at all.

Together, we put our legs onto on May's head and try to hide monkey when we went out late that night and there is police checking on our proton wira.

Together, we get our new phones and compare who has the better one; I admit i always have the most lauyah phone and the latest to get it.

Together, we were LC by our seniors but yet, we marched through like a hero. And couldnt care much who the seniors are.

Together we into the 2 years of pre-U. Still together in school work, tuition and also fun.

Together we say : tak tau when our lovely biology teacher ask us question. We tak tau because we never hear what she says. Basically, that's the time where we do our maths and kepo. And not to mention, tapuk-tapuk sms.

Together, we scratch our armpits when teacher ask how to do the math question in tuition.

Together we share our crushes. The good ones and the bad ones. Together, we still fight on!

Together, we went through everything in form 6.

Yet,

We still together blurr about our future. Together again, aimless.

Yet, we try to find way out. We work. We Play and we think more. We grew older and mature and not to mention, beautiful ladies, from inside out!

Then, we really parted.

From Sabah to Singapore, we are scattered. Now, we are more dispersed, from Malaysia to Australia to UK.

We often say, if we are not married, we will stay together. cook our dinner together. Share and invite friends to our condos and search until the perfect man arrives!

We often say, we will go to each other's graduation.

We often say, no matter when and where, there is no boundary between us.

We often say, internet can link us together.

Yes, internet did helped.

But, i trully miss the older days. Where we used to meet each other everyday. Back to the days without worries. Back to the days, where hurt having taken place. Back to the days where injuries are only physical and we love that. Back to the days where we are really always there for each other. Back to the days where we can just walk, take bus or drive to the person in need. Never feel helpless when cannot help each other out of the problems we had.

Will this sisterhood last? A definite YES. Sisterhood... Together and apart. We have the same hope, is to see every single of our sisters are happy from inside out, then we will. To see that, everyone is safe and sound, is already a blessing.

Just hope that, this small clips will remind us on how important you are in every single heart of your sisters! Smile ~ Your sisters are always for there in any circumstances :-) Just like the song baby had used in the clip.

Im trying to publish this post on 6 september 2008. Because september is the 9th month = long and 6 means "luk" where it always rolls and never ends. This is how i wish our sisterhood would be long lasting and never ending.

I love you all!

Blank..

After losing my hp, I have no more pic to upload for awhile. Im currently watching an American series: Brothers and sisters while im downloading other "older" series that Ive missed.


This series is indeed something that reminds me about the bond between family members. I enjoy watching the series which actually show how westerners are living together. Frankly, I do admire them, can control their temper and anger when they are. They use powerful words to show their anger and disappointment instead of yelling until their vocal cords break, instead of pulling hairs as well as saying nothing at all but showing your sulking face or avoiding it.


However, again, this series reminds me some negative aspects of it. Where affairs and more affairs are there. Uncertainty and more conflicts.


I start to wonder, there is no everlasting love in this world? Husbands having an affair. Wife also slept with someone else before. The D word in marriage is getting familiarised in the society. What is it? What really is?


However, I do ever "try to imagine" me myself in my favourite character in this series - Kitty. Ok... I dunno why such a name for such a beautiful character. A wife of a handsome and loving politician. Wakakaka... I know that's not gonna happen to me. Erm.. Why do i like the character? I just felt that, if I were in her condition, I would do the same thing whereas other characters dint.

Well, however, other characters did show me how calmness and honesty make crooked things into a straight smooth ones. Making things straight doesnt mean you need to be cranky, but with the correct word and correct time with correct people, the things just work out perfectly.

Im watching the last episode for this season for this season. And indeed, im looking forward to the next season *though im waiting for downloading prison break whole season 4 too!* And this series, did make me think much. I just hope, I have the chance to achieve my little-cinderella-dream, to live happily and feel fulfilled with what I have in a place that I was dreamt to be...

Another breakup..

Today, receives another shocking news, another pair of couple which we all thought they would live a cinderella life soon, which is next year, ended. The relationship is 6 years old.

This year, indeed wasnt a year for relationship. Affairs, conflicts and breakups is what I received. Froma 10 year first love relationship to 3 months relationship, all ended without knowing its coming.

Ppl tend to measure how deep is the love between a couple on how long they have been together. Again, i think time 'paktoh' together is not the parameter at all.

Instead, i think love should be genuinely from your heart. A relationship wont work with true feelings from both parties.

I have a small debate with my roommates. Both them thinks that women nowadays should just marry a good and a guy that loves them. It doesnt really matter whether whether the ladies have feelings for the guy.

I totally oppose it. Because i still think love should be both parties' feeling. When one decides that the end because he or she felt that the feeling is not there already, voice it out. Never keep just because you both have been together for long or the other party not able to take it. Is not hurting. But the person you have to please, at least in this world, is yourself as this is your life.

I always believe that marriage is forever. Im still hoping and believe that love is what it should mean LOVE from the bottom of your heart. Maybe you are thinking im dreaming of something impossible, but I guess, Ill hold this principle to my last breath, though i know fairytales is unlikely to happen to me. But, im crossing my fingers behind my back and hope my wishes will come true, one fine day.

But in this material world now, is this possible?

Are men be together because they are already together for long?

Because is already a habit?

Because of money?

Because of fame?

Because of fun?

What does love means to you?

Moody

I always think that KL's weather always represent my mood.

Today, again, i prove im right. Today, mom and bro left after 3 days with me. The thing that make me sad is separation. I dont want any separation. But the feeling hits me again. I felt so lonely.

Mom and brother came here to spend time with me. But of all the days, this holiday, I cant enjoy because I was rushing for an assignment that need to be submitted after this merdeka break.

I love my family. I do. But, somehow, I wish I was younger, where mom used to scold me if I did anything wrong. I dont like to be treated as a princess.

When mom left, i was trying so hard to control my feelings. I love my mom here. My brother here. My dad here. Him here. My frens here. But I just hate the time when they left. It is always so hard. It always reminds me how much I love him and yet, he might have no more feelings for me.

Now, is raining buffalo and dinosaurs here. That was what he thought me.

I admit. Im missing him again. and my family.

How i wish, there is some kind of medicine that will really cure me. An instant and effective one, please.. I beg..

Despair..