Numb and dumb.

Recently, Ive been listening to this song again and again.

I think it sings out the feeling in me, as the main actress inside.

I always think Ive moved out from the past. But without me realising, I was actually still inside the pit, or all these while I was the one not admitting im still inside?

Recently, I miss him even more although I know I shouldnt be. I know it is all ended. Ended totally. But I, just suddenly miss him so much.

Tears came rolling over and over again. sleepless nights came about again. Everyday, I open my eyes, there is this feeling of missing him so badly, but I tried so hard to brush it away. Prayers are the daily routine for me to keep me strong and still.

I can sense there are a few guy friends that was hinting me about going with me, but I know, Im not ready yet and they are not the ones. I am very certain with this.

But yet, when tears rolled down, and when heart aches again, this time, I found no one I can turn to. No one at all. For my jimuis, they have things to be busy with, their own life, and even their own love life have to struggle. For my best buddies, I dont want to share anymore because I really dont want them to think I have feelings for them. For those whom I have sent wrong signals[whether I have, or you were just thinking I had], Mr Rub Shoulders and Went, I am sorry to you all.

People always say that there will be always someone there for each and everyone, but i guess, there is just no one for me.

There are just too many thgs happen in life that makes me limping to go on with this life. Tears will continue to roll down with a smile on the face. I will continue wearing this mask of mine until HE turns out for me.

But i think that day is not gonna be here for me, a simple looking girl, with nothing special compare to other girls, except with a big appetite for food. Never.