Archieless Day 5

Is already Day 5, yet, the feeling wasnt as good as I thought I would be. Afterall, I wasnt as strong as others might look at me. It wasnt great either when the truth seems to display directly on your face. It was obviously hurtful when you think your rank in the heart of the person you love is already being substituted by another person.

What hurt most is that, I know he is back to our natural city and yet, there is still no news about him. None at all from the day he told me he lost his phone. It was very devastating but what else can I do except to ignore and to accept?

I really wish I have a place in him and my only hope now is that he will repent and go back to the Archie that i knew 4 years ago. I really wish he was the person I once loved. I hope he would be respected of his capability and not disturbed by all these bad side of him.

I know loving someone is to accept his good and bad but I know too, that if I can accept all these without telling him that he was wrong, that is really loving him irrationally. Just like our parents, they love us so much and thus tells us when we are wrong.

I hope I have the chance to meet him within this week. At least, some contact from him. But Aanhry say she thinks he would know that I have known it and wouldnt find me again. But, Im not mad at him at all thought no matter how much I try to build some hatred inside me. Im just disappointed that the trust I gave him, and this is what I got. And the most hurtful is him himself not telling me the truth. I really wish he could tell me directly to face and not me listening to other friends. Anything he say, Ill believe. And yes, this is another way of loving irrationally.

But whatever it is now, the decision is in his hands, not mine. But I do I can have the chance to meet him this week and I have the chance to see him as the person and Archie that I first called 4 years ago..