What is the definition for F-R-I-E-N-D-S for you?

It never felt like this before, felt so alone. For no reason.

Is Raya season now. Everyone is back home, enjoying their rendang and ketupat, which I have missed for consecutive 4 years :'( or just simply, need to stay at lab to finish up their ketupat-fed mice.

So, told myself to write up the article which I owe terrorist for my convo mag. I always wanted to finish it, yet, I cant find the "feel" to write.

Was browsing through the pictures, which was taken 4 months back. Glancing through, I realised, so much have changed. So much.


So much have changed, in the sense of friendship. I was once told that I will never get true friends, once I left for Uni. Why? Because, you will start to feel, you are being used, being meals' partner, being a supplier for lab reports, someone you can gang up to buy a whole lot of online shopping for cheaper shipment fee.

But I believe. And still, do not believe.

But I have to agree that once you get to know someone more closer, you'll realise that person is totally not the person you knew. Or, maybe just because the person you once know have changed? Or simply, just because you have changed?


So much I have witness this semester.

From strangers, turn to someone you can confide in only.

From someone who is your shadow, turn to someone irritates you so much.

From someone that is always there for you, to someone you dont dare to be close for him/her anymore.

From someone you depend so much, to a new you where you where you realised you are wrong.

From a close friend, to become someone you love. From a close friend, turn to be your love rival. From a stranger, to become your crush. From a stranger, to someone you dont wanna hear from him/her anymore.

What are friends for? How to you define a true friend? Someone that you are always be with? Someone you can talk non-stop? Someone you can trust? Someone that never makes you mad? Someone who treats you good? Or just someone that makes you feel comfortable when you are with him/her?

Do true friends really exist? Or is just another fairy tales that little girl like me believe in it?

No doubt that time and distance changes one. But it doesnt mean that it will change the feeling, except you are the one giving the feeling up. No one is perfect in this world.

No doubt that sometime you are disappointed with people that you consider them as friends. Is up to you right now how to deal with it. Depends on how you define who your friends are. Depends on how important that person is in your life.

For me, I have found lotsa friends that are not only there for me, but also not there for me, when I needed them. These are my true friends, that tell me honestly what I have done right, and what I have done wrong. Someone that dares to hurt my feeling.

Im glad I have found mine. And my quota? Is expanding. How about you today? Of course, Ill delete someone or degrade someone from close friend to just a hi-bye friend, which someone that doesnt worth keeping. Well, you may say I am judging, but I dont need a friend that is not honest to me, or betray me.

So friends, im not in a postion to tell you all how to deal with your people around. It depends on how you define friendship. Know what you want, and dont ever betray yourself. Treat yourself better by pampering yourself with people that are worth it :) Appreciate who you have now, ok?