Shanate, a new blog

It was after my long-waited-stressing presentation, I decide to give myself a "expensive" way of relaxing, by paying someone to do so for me, together with my months'ly dose facial.

Went to the mall alone, paying the bills as I will be leaving KL very soon and lots of things to settle before I left this place and everyone dont really think what they have to do when Im not around. Going from banks to banks, just to transfer money from one account to another account, and also is the time that hit me saying: Stop your crave for any food.

Pre-decided wanted to settled with my daily food- maggie mee after the facial, yet, sudden craving for meat arised. Ignored the balance sheet that the ATM machine printed out, I went to splurge my crave with a kinda-expensive-yet-so-so dinner. [The meat was alrite, grilled to my perfection, yet, the size, was pathetic for me].

Went home alone, on that never-punctual LRT. Stood on the station, alone, reading every single word displayed on the advert TV [yea.. I guess they put it up just to make it as if they are upgrading their service]. Stood for more than 30mins, and listened to the apologies made by the company 4 times in the station. Well, cut the crap for the apologies, and give us the train THAT WE WANT!

Walking extremely fast to reach home, as I was alone and is 15 minutes to midnight, I told myself to start with my thesis. "Not a single word was typed. Believed me". That is what I told everyone that ask how was my progress with my thesis.

So, came home, and wanting to start reading up, when i decide to do my daily lappie routine: Check emails. Well, you know... sometimes, email can be amusing, relaxing, and sometime, deteriorating your time. Why? Because when u open notification emails... AHA~ There is where it will get me.

Was face'booking awhile when mentee came up and chatted with me, and also Hungry came up and ask me on a few things on the trip that I and purple had planned. THen, decided to clear some "favourites" in my favourite tabs, so to increase the space for more of my drama stock for the next 3 months.

Then, I came across a blog site which I saved, by my kindergarden mate, Shanate. Click on it... and that's it. No thesis for tonight again.

Shanate, is a girl, which my mom knows her mom.. [yah... Sandakan is just too small]. Dont really know shanate cos.. common.. do you expect me to remember all my kindergarden school friends when i was just like 3 years old? I should be busy differentiating which is more important, grilling a grasshopper that me and my brother just caught, or burning the white hairs that Ive plucked from my aunt's head, afraid that they will be blown away by wind?

Reading through her blog, it just reminds me on certain aspect that i wanted to blog it. But sometime, especially nowadays, many friends access to my blog, it seemed like I felt restless telling people who am I really is now.

Scrolling down pages and pages of her blog, amazed me to a point that, she really blogs about what she is up to and what she did, just for the sake of her distanced friends all around the world. Now... this make me think.

Maybe all these while, i was just abusing this site, as a person to hear me whinning, crying, scolding, and you named it all, all-negative-thingy about this site, til this site, is a site which can actually make you cry when you needed something to trigger you.

There were so much things in Shanate's blog that I wanted to write, is what i felt , and is what i hope to write it out, but I just dont have the feel to do it so. In the end, there it goes, my blog is just a whinning place for me.

Shanate, is somesort like me, in a way. She's brilliant. She famous in her high school for being a pretty nerd. Just that she is too quiet, cute, and richer than I do. Sometime, I wish I could be like Shanate. Just a simple girl, not so tall, hugable size, good in drawings [man.. i sux to max], staying in a country that I would prefer than where am I now.

Whenever I see those friends that are born with what-all-girls-dream-of, I admit, I am jealous. Good looks. Staying overseas and continue persuing what she believes, without the need or thinking to provide for the family. Is Rich that she can buy whatever she wants, go wherever she wants, do whatever she like. Having a boyfriend. No worries on what will happen if she is not here one day. Just purely, a simple, yet have-it-all girl. [Maybe because she had it all, that's why she's simple?]

Until I came to a word termed as "thankful". Yea... I just have to be thankful for what ive gone through, whom Ive met with, and who am I now.

If I were rich, I wouldnt have to be this strong now. [which is good right?]
If I were studying overseas, I wouldnt have meet people that makes me who am I now, and they are worth it to be kept.
If I have a boyfriend now, God knows when Im starting my thesis? [especially if he is my type]
If I have good looks, hmm... can we skip this?

The word "IF" sure is powerful.