Am i born to be a substitute?

Recently, i found my life, always being used, all because I was giving unconditionally. In the end, Im left alone to deal with all the poured out unconditionally given hearts and love.

Or maybe, im just oversensitive on how people should be treating me? Or was it just me expecting too much from someone else?

Or was i just hoping the something from them when i pour out my hearts?

But frankly, i wasnt expecting anything in return. Nothing, except a respect, or just a simple thoughts of me, when i leave this world.

Recently, all began to reflect how fragile life can be when a Asian singer passed away due to breast cancer.

Life is often fragile and obviously, I dont need to be reminded by anyone's else deaths. Life is fragile, can you just take your heart out and feel what others have done to you? Don't take them as underdog. Dont take their hearts as something you should be deserving because of your status, your money or even your look. Because, one day, it will just come back to you.

Maybe, I am born to be a substitute. I wanted to change to someone that could give more to myself than others, even just an aquaintance, I would put them first then myself. In short, Im just stupidly will believe in people from the very first meeting.

I guess... being a substitute in the blood, i cant do anything about it. All I can do is to mend my broken heart again and again, and getting up again and again, with a 24/7 anaesthesised heart and numb legs..