Turn girlie or just be what I am right now?

Tonight, was another night burning night. Went out to get supper with Yoyo and Yellow. Intended to let my migraine take over me for a couple of hours, at least trying to figure out some PCI for my 22-medicated patient in ICU which Ive clerked 3 weeks ago.

Then, a good fren of mine, Penang, came chatting with me. It was nice of him to catch up with me. In the conversation, I told him how was i being pissed by Supergirl and Appeton. Then, we came to talk about Yellow, my partner for the attachment. But I never told Penang what I felt about Yellow recently. Because in everyone's heart, she is a delicate angel.

I felt so frustrated with Yellow as my partner. But yet, I felt guilt like treating her like that. I dont want to comment much. Maybe u all decide.

During the 1st rotation, we have to hand up 6 PCP. And she did her work very last minute. trust me. 2 days before evaluation, she only start to do her PCP.

So, 2nd rotation, i intend to motivate and push and scare her abit. MY 2nd rotation was quite heavy too. 6 PCP + 1 long case. The worse of all, my rotations are CVS, chest and ICU, which all, during the working days, u can barely sleep for 5 hours. The preceptors are so responsible that I was also trying hard to show some interest. But... CVS memang I beh tahan le... I SUX to max. Well, nvm... Ill catch up with the Ipohchis soon for group discussion.

So, the very first week, after chest rotation, I told myself to finish all 2 chest PCP during the weekends, because the cases are still fresh with me. Well, i did remind my partner to start doing. 1st saturday, she spent by reading online story book and she decide to do it on the next day. However, the next day, she only manage to finish doing her diary for that week. So, Week 1 = 0 PCP + 1 dairy done.

2nd week was hell, it was CVS. No matter how much i try to show interest, i think it bores me to death. THe preceptor was so geng that he is the first CVS consultant pharmacist in Malaysia. And yes...I know im terrible. I cant even think of the medication for gout. Cant even try to get out with an answer. But nevertheless, I did try to find all he want us to find every day, sacrificing my beauty sleep. Only sleep less than 20 hours in 5 days. After friday, i was relieved. But again, i told myself I have to at least finish the 2 PCP for CVS because it is still fresh in mind how my patients are. So, i lock myself in house. Of course, i dint only work. I played with my games when i cant think straight. I watch movies to destress and still make my own meals. What my partner did? Friday, she went out yamcha. IM ok with it. Because im tired to persuade her anymore. Saturday, she did her 3 days diary for the week. THen, sunday, she finish her diary and did 0.5PCP. So, Week 2 = 1 dairy + 0.5 PCP done.

She was thinking she can do all her 6 PCP in 3 days. Which i have to salute her if she really can. She only tell me that she is tired. She want to sleep. She want to go out to buy some food. To buy supper. But.... her work, are all left unattended. Aih... I know I have no say in this. But what piss me is she ask me questions that I dunno how to answer her. she somesort asking me the PCP for her patient. Commonla...I dont even know the condition of the patient. How can I comment. These are some dialogues I had with her today: A day where I am also busy with my work. Try to crack my brain why the 22 medication were given

Y:Pinky, I want to ask u ah. U see my patient had past medical hx of DM. Then, in ward, her glucose level is 7-8mmol for 2 days. But no antidiabetic drug was given oh. Should I suggest give insulin?
Pinky: Yes, u can ah.
Y: But I cant find the dosage.
Pinky: U can find it in Lexicomp ma.
Y: but oh, she was not even given any antidiabetic medication for his condition before admitting oh.
Pinky: Impossible ah... cos DM sure will give medication de ma.
Y: Yalo..So, i was thinking is there any staging in DM. Maybe his DM is still too mild.
Pinky: But if he is diagnosed with DM, takkan no medication meh? If no medication, u can write as PCP already a...
Y: ya hoh... but oh... doctor write that patient do take medication but dunno what the medication is for and patient forget to take the medication for the doctor for identification.
Pinky: So?
Y: So how ah?
Pinky: Im not your patient. How can I answer you? *little giggles with a tone of irritation*
Y: then, should i give insulin to my patient in ward?
Pinky: I dont know ur patient's condition. I cannot comment.
Y: But i need your opinion.
Pinky: if u think got no contraindication, u can suggest ma.
Y: if this is your patient, what would u do?
Pinky: Ill check if this level of glucose is caused by any medication or is there indication to remain the glucose at that level.
Y: Ya hoh... I rmb one of the drug can cause hyperglycaemia. But I cant remember which already.
Pinky: haha {inside me, im pissed. I was concentrating on my 22 drugs. and suddenly, this interuption, i have to restart to link and find where I left behind.}
Y: But if i give insulin oh, the guideline say, the first line is OHA oh. How ah?
Pinky: U just answer the question on your own. Just say give OHA first and then keep monitoring lo.
Y: ya hoh... What are u doing ah?
Pinky: My PCP with 22 medications.
Y: Har? U havent finish meh? Just use Micromedex la.
Pinky: not everything in micromedex u can believe ah.
Y: why not?
Pinky: U have to reason out why. And what to alter ma.
(then she starts to look into my cases)
Pinky: aiya... u dont see la. U still have 3 PCP to do with 1 long case. Go and do your work la.
Y: Im scared oh.

*And she left. And i guess she knew I was disturbed*

Not only that,
today again she asked me when im in the middle to recall my ICU patient that I have left behind because of the break,

Y: Pinky ah, i want to ask u oh. U see this, on D3, the albumin level is high oh. And Drug A will cause hyperalbuminaemia. Should I just suggest to stop the medication.
Pinky: If i were you, i dont think that is a PCI. U dont have a basal value and how do u know it was the drug that cause the hyperalbuminaemia. How strong is the side effect is?
Y: *SILENCE for a minute to think* Then, how ah?
Pinky: Then, dont do anything la. because u also dunno whether is the drug that cause the deviation, or actually, it had reduced?
Y: Ya oh.. But this Drug A will cause hyperalbuminaemia.
Pinky: then, u can decide then.
Y: then, what will u decide?

ARGH ARGH ARGH....
Is not that i dont want to answer her question.
1st, she asked question that is so TINY small and not prominant.
worst of all, she ask when im in the MIDDLE of concentration that I needed so much!

Today, i also trying to figure out wic road will have less traffic jam home so that we can save some time. Instead, she asked me whether I was in a hurry or not. ARGHHHHH.... I was just being nice to see if there is a way to reduce the time on road so we can have more time at home to do work.

Oh god... Please... IF I have to change to be such girlie to have a bf, I rather be a nun forever. I cant stand it. Waste time. Poor time management. Interupt others at critical point asking questions that are *DUH*.

She really make me felt so guilty for being so cold to her when she asked me for favour. But I cant help it. Im busy. I have my things to be done. Why should I do ur PCP for you? Why should i decide for your patient? Why should i cover your patient too? Why am I sacrificing my chill out time and in the end, I have to do work in a hurry because of interruption? why?

I know everyone is not perfect. and that includes me. But can I just not feel guilty this time?

Pieces women

Which is quite true which i have to admit.

She likes to be in a dream world than to be in reality.
She is weak and sensitive when it's come to "Love".
She can cry if her best friend is breaking up, and she can be over excited when her friend gets a new boy friend who is a good looking and rich even it is nothing concerned her at all. You might be surprise to see that she is shy just because she is in love.
She loves small animal and gifted in training animals.

She has sixth senses and she can guess what will happen next, it's her nature.
Even she has a good sixth senses, she can not pick or foreseen her own choice of lover.
She can not tell if she meet a sincere guy or a one night stand guy.

She likes to buy and pick her own cloths.
She likes to dress cute and be cute.
Pisces woman tend to be a good looking woman and she has a nice skin.
Her hands and feet are small and soft.
Pisces woman loves to shop for shoes as if she collects them.
She is a hot lady that everyone wants her.
Whether she has a man in her life or not, she will never try to over powered any man. It's not even in her thought.

She thinks man can handle things better, and she will make her man feel that way.
She is an easy going person, so being with her is easy.
She is a confident woman and likes to make people who stay with her happy.
She knows how to please and how to comfort a man.
If something is wrong, she will try to make other people belief that it's must be because of someone else, not because of her love one. She will not push her man to be ambition but to make him feel like he should be happy with the way he is now.
She is happy with you for what you are now.

A Pisces woman , if she has a bad childhood, she will always remember it and it will make her a very unhappy person.
She will pity herself and feel sorry for herself.
She tends to hurt herself with out knowing it and so vulnerable to drugs (real drugs or just sleeping pills). She has many choices and you can never tell which path she going to take.
If you love her , then hold her tight because she never knows why she did what she did or what she will do next.

A complex character. You may think she is a shy innocent type and can not hurt anyone, then you are wrong.
You might think she is a fragile person who needs protection, wrong again. She has been through a lot, a tough cookie.
She is a dreamer and love the word "Love", so she is the type who will buy gift for anyone for any occasion, especially if it is a gift for wedding or an anniversary even for someone who she does not know so well.

Be very careful if fall in love with Pisces woman.
She can be a total different person before and after*.
She can be an angle before and later a witch*, but everyone is not perfect, right?
She will be soft and gentle most of the time, so not to worry.
She is emotional and extremely sensitive when she frequently got hurt.
She is the type who can cry her heart out.

She can have a secret fear inside, when she says she does not need anyone.
She badly needs someone to protect her, but sometimes she can hide that feeling by being stubborn. She likes to hide her shyness and her weakness from her enemy.
She does not like to follow any fixed rules.
She can be a good housewife if you know how to handle her.

Many men will ask to marry her because she is a 100% woman. If she wants to be sweet, she is a real angles.

*Except those in italics