Tuesday, February 23, 2010

U disappoint me.. And I just have to say, is up to here my trust.

This person, i took him as my brother. I took him as someone that I can trust. He knows about what happened between me and Archie, because I told him. I trusted him because he used to be mature for me.

But after this attachment, he will forever be deleted in my list of people I can trust. I even in a dilemma whether he should be consider as a friend or not.

I admit no one is perfect. But when i choose to be quiet and not happy with one thing, or even decide to blog about it, I assume people whom read it, whether is about them or not, will understand me. But not, rubbing into the problem to make it big.

I just think that this person is really too much. Yes, I was then mad at Yellow. And guess what, it went away the next day. But when I found out it was U, Mr Appeton who asked Yellow to read about it... U know what, u are rubbing into the problem. U are not helping at all and u do not know how to handle situation. In short, IMMATURE.

I dunno how do u used to make friends. Maybe for u, to solve the problem between me and Yellow is by showing her how mad I WAS to her. But u know what, mature ppl will want both sides not to be angry about it anymore. Mature ppl will tell Yellow about it in another way to avoid Yellow is mad at me. Mature ppl will tell me about that Yellow is angry because she read about it, and told me which part u are not agreeing with. Mature ppl want to see peace, but for u, u want to see war.

This blog belongs to me. I open a blog not to just keep my friends updated, but also to release anger, stess and what I do really think here. I wrote it here to accept critics but no intended to bad-mouth people. If i intend to bad mouth a person, I dont have to choose it here, with initials and names I gave. I should have put into Facebook. I shouldnt even keep my blog address secretive. If i were to act like u, I would have tell Catwoman what u talk about her at the back. If i were to act like u, I would have told you what others told me about u before and during the attachment.

To me, this blog is a place for me to express things I cant do it with real human beings. I wont delete the blog I have written because every single word is what I really felt at the point of writing. Why do i want to fake myself in front of my own blog, my own space, and also ppl whom I trust that I gave them my blog address?

I am being true to who am i. I dont want to raise it up because I dont want to make it an issue. Instead, I put in in my blog so that people that I trust can correct me, can criticise me, can give me another way of seeing things.

I also have to admit. I am not a perfect person either. I have my flaws, and for u, maybe more. But u know what, I dont keep flaws as an obstacle to let ppl know what I feel, instead of some other people, they just being a hypocrite, trying to please others. I dont need to please anyone. I just treat everyone as I really felt. No one is perfect, and I dont keep things long enough besides BETRAYAL. I never except betrayal in friendship. And this is what I call, betrayal.

I ever wonder should i make my blog a securitied one. Then, i told myself no. Because the point of me writing is to let my feelings out, not to create war. Anyone can just condemn me in their own blog, and I will have no hard feelings for it, because is their place where they are being themselves. As for me who read it, I would need to ponder about it, and try to make some adjustment on what I have been condemned.

All I wanted to say is, I will not be a hypocrite. I write something because I felt so at that time. I say something because I want you to know. And I treat u not because I want to have a good impression of me in you, but because I wanted to.

Is up to you how u see things. If u decide to tear the friendship up and treat me because want to avoid quarrels or just to "yeng fu" me, you know what, the thing is, Im gonna make the friendship tore apart. People that know me will know that I will never abandon my friends, never will act hypocritically towards my friends. But since U are not sincere enough, that's it, u have what u wanted, unsincerity from me.

I treat people individually. U are u. Ur friends are ur friends. I may dont like someone, but I hate hypocrites and I hate betrayals. And mind u, hate is a strong word. Im really piss this time.